About Me
~*~*~*~*~*My Opinions/Stuff*~*~*~*~*~
I don't claim to be the most profound, most beautiful, most fulfilled, most successful, infamous, most popular, nicest, funniest, carefree person -- but I enjoy being me, && that makes me conceited? BEFORE YOU say anything to ME, ask yourself: do I understand her sense of humor && sarcasm? if NO, then please, kindly S.T.F.U && G.T.F.O, kay? thnx ~.^
Society has deemed me as being a conceited, egotistical, self-interested mass of energy. But in reality I'm so much more. Ppl can't see past what I do nawt let them see. && claim to know exactly what my intentions, thoughts, && ideas are when rly, they are the one's making up scenarios bc what I do is out of the ordinary. Living in a narrow-minded, fake town for your entire life can only drive you so crazy. My escape is the internet, I constantly reach && search for anyone, someone that has some kind of similar interests as me. Unfortunately, there aren't very many trustworthy, honest, loyal, && caring ppl. Which does nawt surprise me at all. Everyone does exactly what I predict them to do, claiming that they are original in their own special way. Yes, you're all original wearing your cliche Hollister && dying your hair blonde && getting fake tans. Yes, you are very original, every single one of you. Let me know when you actually develop some kind of personality of your own. You can sit behind your computer screen && think && talk sh!t about me. Instead of judging me off what others may say why don't you actually try to get to know me. If nawt, then take your ego && leave plz. kay?? thnx.
Life is entirely unpredictable – which is one of the reasons why I am always making sure where I put my next foot forward. I sometimes over analyze things && that might be one of my downfalls, however I can nvr see wat is to become of me without looking at my past – knowing wat && wat nawt to look for. When I want something to be done I want it to be done efficiently && close enough to perfect as it can get – making me frustrated when nothing goes the way I expect, which is usually the case. I feel as though, yes I am young, but have a small amount more of maturity, I guess yew could call it, correct me if I am wrong. I do nawt exactly know how I should explain my personality to someone who is nawt me. I cannot specifically define whether or nawt I am stereotypically mean or nice. I believe I am a nice person, however, I know how nawt to be. I do nawt especially care if I hurt someone’s feelings but I will most likely try to be polite && apologize. I am sure && have been told I come off as being rude && apparently very unapproachable – I like to think I am a nice person to most ppl anyway. I judge ppl very often – just lyke everyone else. I will judge everyone on everything all the time; however I will give someone a chance to change my judgment – instead of expecting someone to be a certain way. stereotypes! I have been judged on what I look lyke && still am, so I refuse to be the exact person I hate. When it comes to decisions I can’t rly decide whether to go w/ what my head tells me or what my heart feels. When I get into something that I rly need to think about I have to sit down && think logically between what is best for me &&/or the other person – if there is one. In my experience when I decide things using my head && common sense I usually have to sacrifice something in order to do, even if I do nawt want to. I could want something so much && want to go for it; which sometimes I might. However I have realized that I need to sit back tell myself to let it go – something I do nawt lyke at all. I would have to say this is one of the strategies for, possibly, having a better outcome. Of course, I do nawt especially like having something that does nawt require a little work && effort for something yew rly want. I, personally, tend to think w/ my heart more than my head –which means, I will probably get hurt a lot. Wanting what is nawt best for me, running after things I will nvr catch, being sad over something that will nvr be fixed. Although I lyke to follow my heart since it is the only thing that I feel has made me happy – even though it has caused me to experience a lot of pain in my lifetime. I go after what my heart wants because I know that is the only way I will be happy, taking risks, even dangerous ones, is what I usually have to do to satisfy the sinking feeling in my heart when I feel as if I need to have something that very second. I would have to say go w/ whichever part has helped yew the most.
~*~*~*~*~*Independence*~*~*~*~*~
I enjoy the fact that I let almost nothing tie me down, me being my own person && relying solely on me && what I have. Yes, I sometimes lyke having some support from other ppl && I almost always prefer it, but I lyke me, being alone figuring things out on my own. Throughout my life there have been very few occurrences that have turned me from being strong && independent to weak && dependent – && now that I have experienced it I know how to nawt let myself fall into the same trap. I will more often than nawt encourage ppl to be more of a self-sustaining person so that when worst comes to worst when no one is there for yew, yew will nawt fall as hard.Here is a thought: why do yew nawt think for yourself for awhile? Stop following other ppls lead, break off && start your own pathway. I earned my independence on my own, obviously, w/ no ones help – although it probably helped that I was always an independent person, bc I lyked to do things my way && how I wanted. && here I am, thirteen years later, perfectly fine – for the most part, I do nawt regret a single thing I have done bc I have made all the decisions in my life && have never followed anyone else. There is no mold I cannot break out of. What about yew?
~*~*~*~*~*Friends*~*~*~*~*~
In the thirteen years that I have had friendships w/ ppl – obviously – most have nawt lasted as long as I have wanted. I would rly lyke to have life long friends, or even long term friends as opposed to friends I might have for a couple months. Ppl find it strange that I might nawt open up to them as much as other ppl, but can yew blame me? I have had so many ppl come into my life, I will tell them everything, be there for everything, && then they decide to leave – nawt feeling the need to keep in contact at all. I find it hard to cut ppl out of my life – but I am usually the one being cut out; which rly does make it harder for me to accept. I love the friends that I have right now, and I would do almost anything, humanly, possible for them. I am looking for long term friends, if yew have the emotional or mental stability of a carrot, then refrain [definition: do without; keep from doing] from talking to me. Period.
~*~*~*~*~*Influence*~*~*~*~*~
There are a lot of influences in my life that have made me the person you see today – of course the ppl && things that are influencing me have been good && also bad. Nevertheless I am happy about everything that has happened to me. Me being insecure in junior high lead me to realize I should nawt care what ppl think, my friends lives slowly going down hill bc of drugs && alcohol has made me realize that I, obviously, should go nowhere near it. On a side note to that last statement: I have been called a sheltered child bc I refuse to do things that I know are nawt only just going to hurt me && the ppl I love in my life, but ruin my life possibly && make me regret so many things. I learn from other ppls dumbass mistakes, why do I need to make the same? So before you open your big, gaping mouth, take a very large step back && literally go f*ck yourself. kay, thnx, bai. Relating to my previous section – I have been called a sheltered child, && yes, possibly in some aspects ppl could say I am. It may be bc I choose nawt to go out && get as “f*cked up” as I possibly can – I lyke to remember what I did the night before. Even though I have been living for thirteen years I have gone through, seen, && experienced a lot – I think it is an incredibly large insult when someone says I need to go through life && do nawt waste it. I have nawt wasted my life, these are usually the things I hear from ppl addicted to drugs && alcoholics who barely move from the sofa. Yeah, I will be sure to take life lessons from them.
~*~*~*~*~*People*~*~*~*~*~
As sad as it sounds I have almost given up hope on humanity. After being exposed to so many ppl that are incredibly useless && horrible in so many ways it is difficult to find any decent person to meet let alone have a conversation w/. I used to think ppl everywhere had some kind of morals, thoughts, ideas, && originality – wow, I was incrediblyy wrong. Of course I am nawt saying I believe everyone is lyke this, just most of the population && most ppl I come into contact w/. It is very rare that I find someone that isn’t:
a.)honest
b.)caring
c.)trustworthy
d.)real
If yew circled all of the above items, yew are lying. Seriously though, I would love meeting ppl who are considerate && decent human beings. It seems as though everyone I encounter is addicted to every kind of drug there is, an alcoholic, && having sex && getting STDs. If yew think this is okay then leave me alone. I may nawt care what ppl do, but I do care what my friends do. Mayb I am too high maintenance – or mayb everyone is spiraling down the never-ending eyesore of the human race.
~*~*~*~*~*Thoughts*~*~*~*~*~
I am rly sorry if yew do nawt lyke the kind of ppl that voice their opinions && beliefs – the reason I say this is pretty obvious. A lot of the time I can be very rude when it comes to ppls thoughts && ideas. I always try to persuade by force my own opinions on ppl, knowing that I accept their own right to do && think what they want, it is just I get rly worked up bc I think I am right && the other person is wrong. Along w/ that I often say things regardless if they may: hurt, gross out, make someone mad, eh-ti-ca. As far as I know, my mouth has a rly bad filter && I have learned to live w/ it. Very, very often I am in the middle of arguments bc of the things I say – yew would think I would learn. Nawt exactly, in fact I do nawt rly mind getting in fights && arguments bc even though I think the other person(s) are wrong I still lyke to hear their debate. Is there rly a logical reason for ppl to get drunk && high? && does it rly matter how often yew do itt? The point is yew are slowly && painfully killing yourself while making yourself useless to the rest of the world. I hear a lot of ppl say: “it doesn’t f*** yew up very much” (hah). Bullshitttttt, say that when yew are on your deathbed dying from lung cancer or alcohol poisoning. I do nawt think a lot of ppl realize the harm they are doing to their bodies now && how it will have an everlasting effect on yew. Lyke I said before: it is slowly killing yew. Have fun writhing in pain, I look forward to knowing I was right.
Homophobe: a person who hates or fears homosexual ppl. Are yew kidding? This is probably one of the stupidest things to ever be afraid of. I am in no way preaching to yew, the person reading this. Every person yew interact w/ is a human being w/ thoughts, feelings, ideas, && opinions – so technically they are the same as yew. && yet, ppl shunn && isolate – along w/ taunting – gay ppl. It is very ridiculous that ppl call them names, such as, queer, fag, homo, eh-ti-ca. It’s rly nawt funny. Seriously, would yew make fun of a person in a wheelchair? Or someone who is mentally challenged? – Sure, it (homosexuality) is nawt a disability, but it is rly about the principles. If yew do nawt do that, then why make fun of gay ppl? No one has a choice of who they can be nor can they change anything about them – unless they are wearing a mask to conceal who they rly are. I would nawt suggest doing this for anyone. Be proud of who yew are, yew are going to be yew for a long time; get used to it.
~*~*~*~*~*Who I’d Rly Lyke To Meet*~*~*~*~*~
I rly lyke meeting ppl that can be themselves && nawt have to put on a façade for me. I lyke seeing the real thing – nawt some synthetic clone of conformity this world has forced onto a lot of ppl. These kind of ppl that are independent, trustworthy, && most of all R.E.A.L. are my favorite kind of ppl to see – ppl that can stand up for what they believe is right, instead of agreeing w/ whatever everyone else that is entirely wrong. Someone that has a mind of their own is who I would rly lyke to meet.
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